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Talk:Clifford The Big Red Dog: Gross Objects/@comment-36964201-20200208063759
it was about a 5.5/10 I liked how it was more on topic and structured than most of the articles here, howeverit had a few clichés such as. "Luckily, My parents decided to call my phone number. They told me that they were going out to see a film called My Little Pony: The Movie." "That episode was created by a movie star named Susan Backlinie. All though she was an actor, She forced us to create an episode which featured Emily Elizabeth's naked body for the first time. But we literally had to pull the episode off the air due to the content." "One day, while the holidays were around the corner, I was on my laptop looking for a Clifford The Big Red Dog''VHS. At the bottom of the 5th page on Ebay, there was a VHS titled '''Clifford The Big Red Dog: Gross Objects'. "Curious!" I said to myself. I didn't think I saw an episode titled "Gross Objects". The video tape costed $12.35. I purchased the tape and it arrived 3 days later." Clichés make the reader think things like "yeah yeah I've read books like this before." and "pshh probably going to be a really predictable book." try looking at popular stories and try to make some notes at to what's unique about from their books compared to your average fanfiction. It had a few gramatical errors, for example you used a few too many full stops where there should be commas, you forgot to use the capital letter for I sometimes and you didn't use apostrophes to shorten it is or she is. Grammar makes the story easier to follow along for the reader so they can fully appreciate the piece you've presented to them. If you want a website/app to help you try grammarly, it's an app that can really help improve your grammar. https://www.grammarly.com The last thing is you didn't use many describing words, for example when Clifford said woof instead of using said you could've used one of these sentences. "Cliffored yapped" or "Clifford replied." You didn't describe the atmosphere of the episode, was it a icy-cold winter morning or a swealtering sunlit afternoon? The last example is you didn't really describe how everyone was feeling, when you saw Emily wearing nothing did it make you want to gag or did it make you shudder in utter repulse? When Emily's parents found out what Emily did, did smoke feel like it was coming out of their ears or did it make them hopping mad when they saw the picture? describing words help the reader relate to the characters when they're faced with a situation or they feel like they (in this case) are watching the exact same episode with you, you can use things on your computer (if you have one) like thesaurus or dictionary. I f not try these websites https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/synonym https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/synonym Those are just some suggestions as to how to improve your writing, I hope this doesn't offend you and you have an amazing day or night.